- Posted by Team Superwoman
- On August 31, 2014
Emeka Nobis is a life strategist, writer and speaker. If you follow him on twitter, you must have come across his many teachings on things concerning life. The Importance of courtship before marriage is one of them and this is what he said.
1. My teaching tonight is based on a fundamental premise which I believe in : God’s word.
2. “Courtship” has been seen by many as the time beyond “dating” when couples have agreed to “engage”.
3. In my view, that demarcation may be unnecessary; a pointless strive to be technical with definitions.
4. Courtship commences at the point the flutters start in the belly of the heart of partners.
5. It’s that time partners start contemplating to co-pilot the ship of their marital destinies.
6. When this happens, discolsures beyond the ephemeral hellos and hi’s and hangouts start to unfold.
7. Many have locked into the belief that there’s a particular person “ordained” for one to be married to.
8. This has led singles to huff and puff, seeking otherworldly manifestations to prove this belief.
9. There’s no specific spouse for a specific person. Your espousal parameters can fit a million other beings.
10. The basis for your match is a simple Biblical question : can two walk together except they be agreed? Amos 3:3
11. The benefits of courtship are built around this test to prove the validity of that agreement.
12. Courtship necessitates that partners spend time knowing each other.
13. Courtship peels away the walls we build around ourselves at the initial phases of friendship.
14. Traits, quirks, and certain proclivities are revealed at such time. As they say, time reveals a lot of stuff.
15. It’s a barometer for acceptance or not. Disclosures are partial at first and then become full, as the case may be.
16. The reason is that your partner desires to be fully assured of your dependence, trust, and vulnerability.
17. Certain cultures frown at having children outside wedlock. This shouldn’t be overlooked.
18. Courtship presents your partner with the frame to accept or reject such a disclosure from your partner.
19. Courtship presents the implications of the couple to run full throttle with each other on such a stretch of a lifetime.
20. Courtship can unmask certain fears. Gamophobia – the fear of marriage – can be worked on compassionately.
21. The fear is real; a result of deep-seated resentment, divorce or disruptive upbringing.
22. Compatibility for couples is along these fundamental lanes – sociocultural, physical and spiritual.
23. Sociocultural differences exist due to nurture, nature and culture. Never neglect their influences.
24. Child rearing, entertainment values, and financial mindsets vary from individual to individual.
25. Compatibility doesn’t mean subjugation, but an acceptance of the other, within your limits.
26. Physical compatibility isn’t all about sexual ‘match’ as may have been touted by many pundits, male and female alike.
27. Sexual indulgences have a way of clouding rational assessments, leaving the partners clinging to the nirvana it brings.
28. They find out, albeit painfully, that marriage doesn’t revolve around sex. Ask married couples around you.
29. Find out your genetic makeup. Rearing a child with sickle cell gene isn’t a savoury experience.
30. Courtship enables you to assess your partner’s temperaments. Some folks are damp clothes while others are extroverts.
31. You may not dwell ‘peacefully’ with an extrovert when your idea of life is to live with closed shutters in your home.
32. Beyond the ticking of biological clocks, emotional preparedness is essential.
33. Marriage requires tons of emotional stamina. Courtship gives you a hint of your partner’s limits.
34. Courtship is a time for a deep spiritual soul searching, a time of discernment.
35. Many folks – men and women – seek spouses while wearing sugar-coated tongues.
36. Discernment requires critical assessments – words, actions, behavioural patterns around people. Courtship avails you this.
37. In closing, saying that courtship is a time to know your partner fully is shooting yourself in the big toe.
38. Marital life comes with a lot of unknowns. When two souls lie together, it’s a different world altogether.
39. Discern, accept your frailties, make your choice and marry your spouse.
40. Prepare for the unknown. There’s lot to forgive. Get vials of grace ready to inject into your soul.
41. Caveat : marriage won’t make you happy. Understanding the dynamcis will.
42. Your decision is the logic of your romance.
You can download @Iamemekanobis free eBook: SO YOU CALL YOURSELF A WRITER? here
Emeka Nobis, Best Life Strategist and Author. You can follow him on twitter @iamemekanobis.