- Posted by Team Superwoman
- On October 21, 2013
So you're a lady, you get a lot of suitors and somehow you've managed to narrow it down to two. This doesn't make you a h**r, its only natural. You get to that stage when there is Paul and Peter. Paul is tall but Peter is caring. Paul has this aura of sexyness around him but Peter is understanding and makes you feel comfortable. So what do you do?…… Read this article #winks
First of all you should know that you can't have it all. You have your expectations of the guy you want and it seems the two guys each have 50% of different qualities you desire. Well you'll either prioritises or break off from both guys but be rest assured that you can't have it all, no one is perfect.
Rather than stacking your prospective partners against one another a better approach is to take the opportunity to know yourself. Only then will you be able to tell which person fits best with who you are and what you hope to be. Personality traits in your future lover, even truly admirable ones, are only desirable if they are compatible with what you want and need. These are ways you can evaluate which guy would fit into your circle.
-Lists: Make a list of 20 qualities you want in a guy and see how both of them measure up. Its better if you've made the lists before now so that your decision is not influenced by your emotions. I made my lists when I was a teenager and I adjust it from time to time so when I eventually need to evaluate Mr Right with a clear head I'll just cross check my list.
-Ask yourself "What do I desire most — in a partner, but also in life?"
When you make your list you might be tempted to start with "he should be this" and "he should be that" Resist that and Instead, begin with the words, "I want…." Sure, many of the items will describe desirable attributes you hope for in a partner, but by shifting the focus, you'll avoid defining the choice only in terms of someone else. Then consider who is most likely to give you a boost
-Find out what you dread the most:
Personally I think the best place to start when evaluating whom to choose as a hobby is from what you hate most as a person. Everyone harbors particular fears, rooted in childhood experiences and wounds. Perhaps you dread the prospect of extreme poverty, or of living with substance abuse. Someone who in some way reminds you such things might not be the best choice. Naming what frightens you will help you see more clearly which partner is the best ally in helping you avoid it.
Pray: Yes! call me a Nigerian, call me religious but last time I checked, prayer is still the key. God's guidance is still the best.