- Posted by Team Superwoman
- On October 4, 2013
Every girl dreams of Mr right from childhood. We talk about him; give him different names: dream man, ideal guy etc. We imagine his framework and even know his qualities but now its time to find him, how do we do that?
1. Get a life.
The most important thing is to be Ms. Right yourself. Finding the right man is not going to change you into a better person than you already are. If you are lazy and self-centered, finding a generous hard working fellow is not going to transform you. If you are boring and a one-dimensional person, finding an intellectually challenging man is not going to change who you are. Model yourself after women you admire so you can gradually transform into the woman you want to be. Work hard at changing your character defects. (If you are not sure what they are, ask your mother!) Become more well rounded. Complete your education. Get a hobby. Learn to be happy with yourself, first. No man, no matter how right is going to make you happy. You will only be happy in your new relationship if you are happy inside first.
2. Evaluate your physical looks
Not everyone is Ms. World. Nobody looks like the models in magazines. We each have something going for us though. Find out what your best feature is and accentuate it. Wear clothes that flatter your figure. Accept yourself for who you are, but don't use that as an excuse to let yourself go either. Some men like a woman with a little flesh, but no one wants a slob. Big can be beautiful if you manage things correctly. If you are overweight, consult your doctor and find out what is healthy for a woman your size. Rather than living up to some super-model or stereotype of femininity you should aim to be all you can. Men want to be proud of their wife's appearance, not embarrassed. Work with what you have: get a makeover; read fashion magazines; read fashion blogs and know how you should be dressing for your body type. Small changes can make a world of difference in your looks as well as your outlook.
3. Know what you are looking for in a man. Here are some qualities to look for in a healthy relationship: common values and similar culture, ability to forgive and be forgiven, ability to be challenged and confronted without defensiveness, desire to raise children, common goals. Ask yourself, Why do I want this relationship? To lose myself? To find myself?· To make up for what I lost in childhood? To keep me so excited I can't be depressed? To boost my sagging self-esteem? To be a temporary fix until I decide I want something better? For security or someone to take care of me? To be in control? To show off to my friends that I can get a man? To get my parents off my back? To run away from my responsibilities? To find someone to support my children?
Ask yourself where you want to be in twenty-five years. What type of person do you want to become? How will your choices now influence that outcome? What you choose today will have an impact on what you get later. Choose wisely. What looks good now may cause heartache later. What you do now does matter.
4. Rise above past mistakes.
You are not doomed to an endless series of losers. You are half-way to Mr. RIGHT by seeing what you have done wrong in the past. You cannot correct something you did not realize was stupid. Congratulations! You are starting to develop humility, which is a good trait. Just don't let it turn into self-pity and low self-esteem. We all fail and make mistakes. We all have things we remember with regret. Unlike us, God is very forgiving when we repent, turn around and are willing to let Him change us. We are forgiven in Jesus. He died for us while we were still sinners, not after we changed. Realise that God (whom matters most in life) has forgiving you, forgive yourself so you can have a healthy self esteem.
5. Talk to your family and friends (loyal friends) about the kind of man you want. Ask them for tips on the type of guy they think you need, and don't be insulted when they tell you the truth. They probably know you better than you know yourself. Their feedback could be invaluable.
6. Be Open to dates
You're no longer at a stage of your life where you can afford to be doing unnecessary "shakara". I don't mean you should be desperate, but you'll have to start meeting guys and getting to know them
7. Go out
Your dream guy won't just drop from the sky. Put yourself out there. Go to places you like so that when you find him, you'll have common interests. Don't force yourself going to places you don't like cause it will be expected of you to still carry on that routine when you get together with him.
8. Expect a human being, not someone perfect. No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the guy a break. You already know that you are not Ms. Perfect. He will make mistakes too. Relax a little and don't be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond physical attractiveness. You don't want a slob any more than he does, but he doesn't have to be Mr. Hunk either.
9. Be patient.
Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what appeals to you and why. You may make a few friends, and even break a heart or two. You may get hurt. Keep at it. There are good men out there. You simply need to know where to look.
10. Seek God's guidance
I don't think this needs more explanation. This is the most important factor. He created us; who know you more than the person who made you. He also knows who will be best for you, who you'll still be with in the long run. In addition to knowing you, he loves you. He doesn't want to see you in tears. Most times we unconsciously feel God doesn't care about stuff like this but that's were we get it wrong, he even cares more than we do but he won't force himself into your life, so ask him.